In January of this year, I attended the Evolutionary Business Council’s (EBC) annual retreat where I experienced a blend of business and marketing training, high-level masterminding, and transformational work. I love this group of people because they have a big vision/mission to create global, sustainable change. It was my first EBC event and I’m happy that I joined.
One of the gifts was in getting to hear Steadman Graham, Oprah’s boyfriend. Before then, I was unaware that Steadman is a powerful leader in his own right. He shared the story of his upbringing living with both poverty and extreme racism. When he decided he would attend college on a basketball scholarship, he proudly stated to the local grocery store owner, “I’m going to be going to college.” Unfortunately, the man replied, “You will never make it. Your family is stupid and you are too dumb as well.”
Thankfully, that harshness inspired Steadman to prove to that man that he could be different. He went on to college and also earned a master’s degree. Steadman decided, “It’s not how the world defines me…it’s how I define myself.” I loved that because many people are still stuck on their old identities and definitions.
In order to get to the next level of growth, you must release the old version of yourself and embrace the new and more expanded you. At times this can be quite scary! The “you” that has always been, is your go-to. Your brain is literally wired to respond/react in certain ways; however, the “new you” that is required for your up-level hasn’t been established yet. That means it is not as trusted or anchored into your reality.
Following is what you do:
1. Understand the journey. There is always death/rebirth along the way. (Heck, just look at nature and you’ll see plenty examples of this.) When you have context, oftentimes you can navigate the highs and lows of transformation.
2. Stay focused on the big WHY that drives you. You don’t need to have all the pieces to step forward. It is the next small step that your guidance/intuition gives you that is all that is needed.
3. Know it’s already done. If it lives in you as the great desire for your life, you can have it. Trust that. Put sticky notes around or say affirmations to make it your reality.
4. Make decisions from the place of it is already done. Don’t decide from the old you. That’s like remembering that you used to be a toddler and fall down a lot, so perhaps it is unsafe to begin running. Isn’t that insane? Decide from the place you want to be.
5. Get Support. Seriously, you will fall down, forget, and become discouraged. You need to have someone who holds the deep knowing of you and your vision and can guide you on the path to get there.
6. Celebrate all small wins. Each time you shed another layer of the old or added a piece of the new you, do a happy dance. Have a friend or two that you can brag with. Journal it. This will stick it to you faster as you are working on integrating your new identity.